Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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