I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
