If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
