If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
