Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
