just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize