I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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