Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
