Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
