garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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