Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
