I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
