she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm getting married
To pizza
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
