the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
