I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
this will be a night to untag.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
