worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize