Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
