He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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