I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
vagina is talking i cant
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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