someone threw a dead crab at me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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