white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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