she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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