let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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