He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize