I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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