You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
