hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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