i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
