I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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