3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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