If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
