well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
