So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
