Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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