Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
