well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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