Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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