just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
