Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
