Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize