There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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