I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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