ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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