i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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