never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
