I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
