Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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