Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
