I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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