rhymes with "ouble enetration"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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