accomplished twins. life is a go
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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