it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
