Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
