He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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