Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
