Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
