Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
