Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Welp...herpes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
