Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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