I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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