I hate your face
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize