i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
